17 People Share Their Most Awkward Breakup Stories, And These Are Seriously So Good


“I dated a guy casually for about two weeks during my senior year of high school before I realized it wasn’t going to work. So I met up with him and told him in person. Well, later that night, I got a long text about how disappointed he was. He ended it with, ‘Don’t forget to set your clock back this weekend.'”



“I told my ex that I wanted to break up because we had no chemistry, no spark. The next week, when he came to my place to get some of his things, he put a 9-volt battery on my table. Then he looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Just in case you still don’t think we have a spark.'”



“I broke up with my boyfriend because he was always putting me through tests to show my loyalty. Well, a few weeks later, I heard that he’d overdosed on pills from his parents’ medicine cabinet and died. I felt horrible, like it was all my fault. I didn’t even have the heart to reach out to his family or attend his funeral. But the day after the funeral, I got a text from his number…”


“And it turns out, HE WASN’T DEAD! He never overdosed — it was just another one of his tests to see how I would react. This dude literally FAKED HIS OWN DEATH…then sent me a text that said, ‘Just so you know, I’m over you.'”



“My sister broke up with her boyfriend in the school parking lot, as we waited for our mom to pick us up. Well, he didn’t take it well, and when my mom arrived and we got in the car, he literally jumped on her hood and crawled along the car to the passenger’s side window, begging her to reconsider. The school resource officer had to drag him away crying and screaming Weezer lyrics at my sister.”



“I decided to break up with my cheating boyfriend over Instagram by posting a cute selfie captioned, ‘Love being single!’ But when my boyfriend saw it, he replied, ‘LOL, AUTOCORRECT!’ He actually thought I meant to type ‘Love pringles!'”



“I broke up with my boyfriend in a park, and he LITERALLY CLIMBED UP A TREE to cry up there. I didn’t really know what to do…so I just waited around for him to come back down.”



“I was visiting a friend from college, and my boyfriend was calling and texting me nonstop. I tried to explain to him that I wanted to spend uninterrupted time with my friend, who I rarely got to see. But he didn’t seem to get it, so finally, I blocked him to get some peace. Well, twenty minutes later I got a Venmo notification from him, requesting the amount of the bill from our last dinner! The caption said, ‘Since you clearly don’t care about communication, consider this our breakup.’ My friends saw it on their Venmo feed and thought it was HILARIOUS!”



“My first boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine’s Day, and when I brought up how awful that is, he felt horrible. So then he said, ‘OK — let’s stay together tonight, and then I’ll just break up with you tomorrow.'”



“I broke up with a guy after about two months. Then a few days later, I found out our parents were dating.”



“As I was breaking up with my college boyfriend, a friend of ours drove by and yelled, ‘COUPLE OF THE YEAR!'”



“In high school when the guy I had a massive crush on asked me to be his girlfriend, I was ecstatic — until I found out that he and his family are SUPER religious. He refused to hug or hold hands, and because he wasn’t even allowed to spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex, he wouldn’t admit to his parents that we were dating. And at one point, he even told me that the reason I have back problems is because God was smiting me for not praying enough! But he was still devastated and confused when I broke up with him. He called me crying on the phone every day for two weeks…and then he egged my parents’ house.”



“My boyfriend was breaking up with me over the phone, and I was doing a great job of holding it together…until I STEPPED ON A GIANT WASP, barefoot! Needless to say, I totally lost my shit after that. I was yelling and crying for the rest of the phone call…but for entirely different reasons.”


“The next day, my foot was so swollen it had started to bubble. And that’s how I found out I was allergic to wasp stings.”



“When I was a sophomore in high school, I was pretty good friends with this one guy. Well, one day I was reading in one of the classrooms when he walked in and broke up with me. Apparently, he thought we’d been dating for a year…and I had no idea.”



“I broke up with my high school boyfriend at his house. But afterwards, I remembered that he was the one who drove me there. This was before Uber and Lyft, so I texted my friend to come pick me up, and she said she was at least 45 minutes away. So my ex and I had to sit there awkwardly for over an hour before she finally showed up.”

“To say I ran out of the house would be an understatement.”



“I pulled my girlfriend aside at the end of our lunch period and gave her a whole breakup spiel about how I wasn’t in a good place for a relationship right then. But I had no idea exactly how to end the conversation, so after I hugged her goodbye, I gave her a high five.”



“I asked my boyfriend to meet me at Starbucks so I could break up with him there, and we decided to take a walk around the block instead of going inside. But this was a small parking lot that would ticket people who left the parking lot. So we got back from our breakup walk, and a woman was putting a boot on his car! Not only did he get dumped, but he had to pay a $140 ticket!”



“I was in my college apartment trying to break up with my boyfriend, and he started crying and telling me that he would change. Well, at that very moment, my roommate — who knew I was trying to dump him — started BLASTING Taylor Swift’s ‘We Are Never Getting Back Together’ from the next room. And that made him start bawling even harder.”


“But hey — my roommate offered him cookies on his way out.”


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Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.